Did you swallow?”
— It’s best that you don’t know the circumstances. (via chhastakenovermyfreakylife)
I’m confident that I can blow a dolphin at the last minute.”
— Somebody seriously just said that on Food Network Challenge.
I take one 30-second phone call...
me: I'm back
Chase: Hold on. My mouth is really full.
me: hahahahaha
Chase: You were on the other line, so I stuffed my face.
me: hahahahaha
Chase: Okay, I swallowed it.
me: hahahahahahahahahahahaha
